


The Talk

by TheLittleLostTimeLord



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Coming Out, M/M, Remus is Bi, Sex Education, Sex Talk, Sirius is Gay, The Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-27
Updated: 2014-10-27
Packaged: 2018-02-22 19:19:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2518916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittleLostTimeLord/pseuds/TheLittleLostTimeLord
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius tries and fails to give Harry 'The Talk'. Remus helps out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Talk

“Harry, we need to talk.” Sirius said seriously one day over the summer. The two of them made their way to the library. They sat in chairs facing each other and after a few moments Sirius began. “You’re fifteen now, Harry, and you might might begin to feel...umm...urges.”

Harry was bright red and eyeing the door, looking for an opportunity to bolt. Sirius was just as red. “Uh...Sirius...you..umm...you don’t have to…”

“Harry, I am your godfather.” Sirius insisted, taking several deep breaths. “These...urges are perfectly natural and healthy, but you need to know how to be safe.”

“Oh god.” Harry muttered.

“You need to know how to protect yourself from STDs and prevent pregnancy.” Sirius continued. “Condoms work well, but there also portions and charms...” Sirius sighed. “I’m sorry, Harry, but I’m too gay for this. I don’t know how girls work or anything about contraception. Let’s go talk to Remus.”

“Wait! You’re gay!?” Harry asked, shocked.

“Right, you didn’t know that...We should really talk with Remus about this.”

“Sirius, you didn’t even check to see if anyone was in the library.” Remus emerged from behind a bookshelf, before either of them could get up to find him. “Though, you lasted longer than I thought you would.”

“I knew there was something I forgot.” Sirius cursed under his breath.

“And you made an interesting choice to double to awkwardness by combining the sex talk and our coming out to him.”

“Yeah...sorry about that”

“Our!?” Harry asked.

“Okay, Harry, first things first, because it’s probably the more confusing subject on the table for you at the moment. Sirius and I are a couple; have been since we were about your age. Sirius is, as he just blurted out, gay. I, however am bisexual, so I like both men and women. Any question so far?”

Harry shook his head.

Remus continued, explaining contraceptive charms and potions and one that protected against STDs. He explained the basics of sex (with both men and women) and talked about consent and the necessity of a ‘yes’ rather than a lack of a ‘no’.  He concluded by reminding Harry that if he had any questions, he could ask either of them, but that Sirius was really only helpful if he turned out to like boys. Then he handed Harry a couple of books he’d bought a couple of weeks before when Sirius first brought up wanting to give Harry ‘The Talk’.  Harry took the books and made a swift exit, though, he was less embarrassed than he could have been.

“Well, that went well.” Sirius noted.

“No thanks to you, Mr. ‘I’m too gay for this’. Why’d you even try? You should have just had me do it from the start.”

“You’re right, but I’m his godfather, I’m supposed to do this kind of stuff.”

“Sirius, you are the biggest homosexual the world has ever seen and Harry defiantly like girls. This was a train wreck from the start.” He kissed Sirius. “I love you but you shouldn’t even try with things like this. James would never have expected your gay ass to try and help Harry with girls and you know it.”

“As usual you're right, Moony.”

**Author's Note:**

> [My Tumblr](http://www.wolfstarforever.tumblr.com)   
>  [My Writing Tumblr](http://www.thelittlelosttimelord.tumblr.com/)


End file.
